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…I’m not ignoring you. I just have been trying to think about the answer to your riddle. It seems that I have been in a situation where a love life has turned platonic. I held on for a couple of years just out of respect for the person and the relationship, but in the end it was not worth it. We couldn’t fix it. We broke up and he moved away. It was hard and my heart ached for a long time. I had to get the idea out of mind that I had wasted 7 years of my life. I learned to accept it for what it was and to turn my bitterness into action. We are still very good friends, but we had to work at it and I had to swallow my pride.
It seems to me that love has so many faces. The love you feel for your family, the love you feel for your close friends, the love you feel for a pet or the love you feel for a partner are all so very different. They say sex is not love, but when it comes to a relationship love without sex is just friendship. You have to have it. It’s human nature. There are things in life worth having, but they come at a price. If you aren’t feeling complete then you may have to sacrifice something to get there. Sometimes it’s a friendship, a job, a home or even a relationship. Sometimes letting go of something that is comfortable or familiar, but restraining is just what is needed to find the right fit. I spent the last 4 years of my life working in a job, in a relationship and in a life that was familiar and comfortable. I couldn’t let go. I knew I needed to, but I was scared. Finally when I did the compass needle of my life swung around and things began to change for the better. It didn’t happen overnight. The changes took time, but now a year and half later life is great and I am happy.
I think you just have to decide what is important to you most. Don’t hold on to a life that doesn’t want you. Because someday whether you are ready or not the choice will be made for you. Plus who knows what is out there. Perhaps your next great love is there waiting for you. Be careful, you don’t want to spend the rest of your life knowing that someone else is married to your husband…
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it seems that this situation relates to me. it seems that i am the one to whom this message is being addressed. i don’t know as of now if my feeling for someone is just a waste of time but i really want to keep this special friendship. hmmmm confused. anyways nice blog my dear.
silvia 09.13.07 @ 8:09 pmIt so true what you saying but sometimes leaving the life you live now takes too much courage
Laura 09.17.07 @ 10:50 pmGreat point of view about love, relationship, letting go, accepting reality and making a choice! Anyhow, life is really like that. It’s tough being a human and I adore how you handle things in your life! Keep it up
caroline 09.19.07 @ 10:57 amI admire your courage,letting go of something specially ( LOVE )is one our major undertaking that come in and go in our lives,thats why makes all unique as individual in terms of how we all face and handle this facts of life?
cris 09.20.07 @ 12:18 amI was actually going to create a new post in my blog here and the brief description of ur post title here caught my attention..
And to my surprise…
You’re just like talking to me.. but the me 4 years ago…
I agree totally with you about the fact that… love without sex is pure friendship. It took me one year to ‘accept the fact’… and I couldn’t risk my entire life marrying a man with no physical intimacy and who only knows how to express himself in sms ( ‘toast’ to this modern day technology ).
I made the HARD decision.. I let him go, as a matter of fact, it was the most painful experience of my life… but it was for the best of both of us…
I was not as lucky as you, mine took it sourly and since then we’ve not been on talking terms..
Jennifer 09.20.07 @ 10:04 pmYour post here’s just like reading my mind totally…
ilove it…whew!
swiss 09.26.07 @ 4:43 pmi like it…really!
ma. rosalie 10.05.07 @ 6:13 ami appreciate it and appreciate you as a person.
mArZ 10.06.07 @ 10:47 amHey thanks for the advice…I will try to put it in mind and practise it
-stranger-
Dove 10.08.07 @ 7:44 ami like your blog… while telling that story, i was really ease and curious to know the story behind. Hope you’ll do that later. Take care because that’s life…as long as there’s a rainbow after the rain.
KYLA 10.09.07 @ 12:39 pmthanx.i lyk this piece
god bless ur soul..
amoi 10.09.07 @ 9:23 pmYour blog is very real…Yes, its hard to let go. However, you managed it very well and that you shall enjoy your next life series. Cheers!
Cali 10.10.07 @ 4:05 amYou are so right… I feel the same way. I gave up almost everything…hope its all worth it!
TRICIA 10.10.07 @ 9:02 pmI had gone through a 10 year relationship. 5 of it was figuring out when to let it go. It took 3 weeks to drown the initial pain… with lots of alcohol… I hear ya. Glad you made it through in 1 piece.
Kevin 10.11.07 @ 11:28 amyeah you’re exactly right!
masanobu 10.13.07 @ 6:38 amHey, verry nice blog that every reader learn from this as i lerned a lot as we had the same experienced in life that we had to move on and let it go coz we really love our self.
Romel 10.13.07 @ 2:01 pmyeah… married… sighs.
JeSsPeP Kuleeet 01.07.08 @ 4:05 amWow! Ur are a God send. I was just in that situation. Finally, I realized that sometimes you have to let go of things that we dont realized when they are not working anymore. I just got out of 6 years relationship and 2 years of those I knew it should have been over for a long time because trying to wait for that person to finally include you in his life is not worthed.
Maricel 03.08.08 @ 11:44 pmWow, I can actually relate to this. I just really love this man, I really do but I think there’s no way for us to get back to each other so I guess i’m just wasting my time on him but I really want us to remain friends though I still love him. I don’t know but I must accept the fact that it’s over and done. I don’t agree that it can’t be relationship without sex, remember God made sex exclusive for a married couple so if it’s out of wedlock then it’s fornication which is against the divine law.
Jeni 03.18.08 @ 11:32 amgreat, you ae a person of great thoughts and realities in life is appreciated. i admire you for this
Angel Heart 04.17.08 @ 7:26 amhmmmm…im so touched,i admire your strong will w/o a second thought to do what is right,in my part,im still holding on & afraid to let go.perhaps this blog of yours could hopefully enlightened me. more power.
tess 05.15.08 @ 7:20 pmwell said. I been in this situation. Im happy now being alone. Letting go is the best thing to do. We free ourself. Looking back, I learned negative things happen for reason, and definitely we have to find the possitive side.. That is when we learn and grow in wisdom and trusting GOD each day. Hubling ourself is one of tough thing to do but it help us yo prepare for the future. Thanks
Jaidemarie 05.21.08 @ 3:08 pmsex cannot prove true love!sabi ko sa sarili noon,pag-nag-asawa ako gusto ay kasal muna sa simbahan!…sex ay panandaliang kaligayahan lang,but true love-its for a liftime.ang mahalaga ay there stil a trust that make u bond,even ur part from each other!…i disagree 100% that sex cnnot prove true love!.
jun 08.19.08 @ 7:32 pm