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"You have no right to ask me how I feel. You have no right to speak to me so kind. I can’t go on just holding on to ties now that we’re living separate lives…"
Phil Collins ~ ‘Separate Lives’
Over two months have passed without so much as a word. It has been hard for me to adjust to life without my "friend", but I have done it. I have run into him a couple of times over the last couple of weeks out at the bars. That has been kind of awkward, but I just ignore him, mostly. Last night I was at a party and there he was. The room was small and crowded. I could not ignore him as much as I tried. I felt my neck stiffen as he approached. "Hi, …how are you? It’s good to see you." There it was. Just like that he was completely ignoring the events of two months ago. I stood there stiff and emotionless. I looked at the floor and mumbled I was fine and then moved to the other side of the room. I could not help think how dare he be so nice to me. To me the greatest insult to our friendship is to ignore that anything went wrong. I have to wonder why this is so hard. I had a friend tell me this morning I need to just let go and stop dwelling on it. Perhaps that is true, but I know me. I don’t work that way. I need closure. I need to know how and why. I need an ending to the story. I don’t even want an apology. I just want a why. I don’t think that is too much to ask.
Today there is a cookout at my "friend’s" house. It’s in honor of another friend’s birthday. I have been invited to go by both parties. I don’t want to go. In my mind by going to the party I am simply saying that it’s okay that we haven’t spoken in over two months. I am in essence condoning his behavior. If I go I will be very uncomfortable and it will be awkward. Why would he invite me to this? Why is being so kind? He has no right.
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Moving Thoughts
When the door of happiness closes, another opens, but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don’t see the one which has been opened for us.
It’s true that we don’t know what we’ve got till we lose it, it is also true that we don’t know what we are missing until it arrives.
Don’t go for looks; they can deceive. Don’t go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the ONE that makes your heart smile.
Always put yourself in other’s shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the other person, too.
When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you’re the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.
The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything, they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.
I hope this will helps you with your daily life and problem. Someone like you deserves better of things. Have a nice day Sean
Jenny 04.16.07 @ 8:18 amOh sean. i feel your pain and i can understand your reason why you chose to ignore him at the club, but i think this is the right time, where you can ask him about everything. Then after that you might get your answer to your WHY question.
go to the party. He’s trying to make a move to rekindle your friendship so give him a chance. talk to him and clarify things. only then you’ll find closure.
Rhod-JaY 04.17.07 @ 2:54 amhello sean!
Marjorie 04.18.07 @ 9:44 amyou don’t know me but i do know what you’re going through… rhod-jay is right! go to the party and talk to him, maybe it is the best time to find the “closure” that you’re looking for…i think he’s not ignoring what happened 2 months ago…him talking to you means he is trying to reach out again so don’t close your doors….if you don’t ask, you won’t get your answers…take care!
Yup, I agree with Rhod and marjorie. I think he’s making a move to patch things up, to bring back the friendship again.
I can understand your pain too……. but this could be your only chance to get a proper explanation. Don’t let this chance slip out of your hands just like that.
Eventually, whether you choose to continue or forsake this friendship, at least don’t let yourself walk out of it without giving him and yourself a chance to clarify things.
Jean 04.19.07 @ 1:23 amhello,you hve a nice smile…
jasmin 04.20.07 @ 4:00 amyah!rhod,marjorie,jean are right…you need to talk to him. ask him why? and clarify things…then you’ll find your answer…take care sean…you can do it!!!
michelle 04.20.07 @ 6:15 pmHI THERE.. I MIGHT NOT KNOW THE REAL SCORE BET U GUYS.. I CAN SEE U WANT HIM.. SO GO ON GIRL. DONT HOLD BACK WAT U FEEL… NOTHING WILL BE LOST IF U START TO GET CLOSE AGAIN COZ IT SEEMS THAT HE WANT IT TOO.. KEEP AN OPEN MIND, FRIENDSHIP IS ONE THING WORTH TO BE SAVED.. ESP AT THIS MOMENT THAT BOTH OF U ARE IN THE SITUATION WER IN U ARE DRAWN TO EACH OTHER… GO TO WAT U WANNA DO GURL OR U’L GONNA SPEND THE REST OF THE DAY THINKING THE OTHER WAY AROUND,.. U KNOW , LIKE WAT IF U TALKED AND WAT WUD BE THE NEXT AFTER THAT….
armie joy 04.20.07 @ 6:17 pmDONT RUN AWAY TO WAT IS SUPPOSE TO HAPPEN..LET IT BE.. OKEY?
GOD SPEED!
hi.. i was just browsing and saw your blog..
i feel your pain.. its also been 2 mos since me and my bf talked… i consider him my ex these days. there’s no clear reason y he stopped communicating with me.
up until now, im wondering what happened.. i haven’t done anything to him..
maybe he fell out of love. i really don’t know.. all i want right now is a closure…
ERAP - 04.20.07 @ 6:27 pmsean, in fact i’m in your friends position somehow. i made mistake and she said that she’ll never forgive me. first, i kept blamming myself, but i realized that i need to move forward and tried to be nice to her.
Charyza 04.20.07 @ 6:38 pmmaybe Rod-Jay right… it’s time for you to let it happens and time for you to ask him your WHY.
my friend, you’re damned if you do, and you’re damned if you don’t. so you might as well do..
ytalia nikolai 04.20.07 @ 6:56 pm-
cheerio friend. take care..ΓΌ
sean,
i was just browsing when i saw your blog… it catched my attention because i was in your shoes just weeks ago.
it really hurts when a person you love ignores you and you honestly believe its for no reason…
what hurts the most is your being ignorant to the reason of his/her behavior because he/she didnt had the heart to tell you frankly and you were left wondering what was the reason of that behavior.
but if your friend is opening his/her door for reconcilaition, go get his/her reason!!! maybe you two can patch things up…because you see, whatever happens i believe you still and always love your friend. just learn to forgive and forget, trust me, “love is sweeter the second time around”…
nanette 04.20.07 @ 7:36 pmhi sean!
Maricel 05.14.07 @ 10:06 amjust like nanette,i was just browsing when i saw your blog.In my own opinion,your “friend’s”invitation will be your great opportunity to patch up things.If ever your friendship or whatever relationship you have will going to an end,at least you’ve done & tried to save it & there’s no more if’s & why’s in your mind.Don’t take his invitation in a negative way,take it as an opportunity.So goooooooooo!!!!AJA!!!!!GOD BLESS YOU!!